I'm took a little break from work this afternoon to work on my NANOWRIMO novel.  November is NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth, and my friend Ayn talked me into participating with her excellent presentation at our writing retreat a couple of weeks ago.  So I'm attempting to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November (those are the requirements). 

As of last night I was up to about 6300 words.  But I just wrote another 1100 words and will be adding that in when I get home tonight. So I guess I'm up to 7400 words!  Yea!  My novel is supposed to be about the online dating adventures of a single woman in her 40's (hmmm - who does that remind you of?).  But I find myself getting diverted into various topics because otherwise I'll never reach 50,000 words.

So today I wrote about my step-mother, and I thought I would share it via my blog.  Hopefully my step-sister will read this and find it funny:

So I get home later that evening just in time to catch a call from my step-mother Helen.  Oh god, I think.  Am I really up to a marathon phone session with me just nodding my head and saying “uh-huh” a lot?  Because that’s what happens when you are on the phone with my step-mother.  She starts talking about one subject and then starts meandering like she’s driving down one of the many farm-to-market roads throughout Texas.  You are on FM 149 and think you are doing good and then she switches and you have suddenly turned onto FM 105, and then she doubles back and heads the opposite direction and by that time you have no idea who or what she is even talking about.  So all you can do is nod your head (of course, she can’t see you nodding your head) and say “uh-huh” a lot.  Sometimes she gets suspicious and stops and ask you what she just said as if she suspects that you really aren’t paying attention.  So you have to pay a little bit of attention so that you can at least throw a few details back at her.

                All this goes through my mind as my hand hovers over the phone, but I finally decide to bite the bullet and pick it up.

                “Hello, Mother”.  Okay – time for a slight side note.  When Helen became by step-mother, my father had been divorced from my mother Mary for about a year.  I was nine years old at the time, and I’m pretty sure I called my real mother “Mommy”.  I mean, I assume I did because I called my dad “Daddy”.  And my dad had full custody of me because my mom had the sense to give up full custody of me because she was an alcoholic.  But that’s a story for another day entitled “How to Attempt to Screw Up Your Child’s Life in only 90 Days”.              

                So my step-mother didn’t want me calling her “Momma” because her kids called her “Momma”, and she felt like she had been “momma’d” to death.   And there was no way in hell that my real mother was going to allow me to call my step-mother “Mommy”.  So the only real option that was left was to call my step-mother “Mother”.  And thus I call Helen the formal sounding “Mother” and even though I’m in my 40’s I call my dad “Daddy” still.  Because I’m still Daddy’s little girl, you know.

                So back to the phone conversation.  “Hello, Mother”, I say.  “How are you?” she asks.  “Did I catch you just coming into the house?” 

                “Yes, as a matter of fact, you did.  I’m just getting in from work”.  So she asks “How was work?  Are you still working for that horrible company?”.  “Yes, Mother”, I say.  “Work was fine, and the company hasn’t run out of money yet, so I’m still working there”. 

                “You know those people take advantage of you by giving you so much work to do and refusing to hire any help”.

                “Well”, I respond, “They can’t really afford to hire any help, you know?”.

                “That’s just not right.  Why back in my day when I was working for Mr. Pride Carwash, I never would have let them take advantage of me like that.  Of course I wasn’t the accountant because Lord knows I’m not very good with numbers.  Although there was that time in Girly Elementary School when I won a math ribbon.  I was just tickled pink.  And so were Momma and Daddy although of course they weren’t there to see me get the ribbon because Lord knows times were tough during the late ‘30’s – Daddy was working at the mill, and we were just managing to get by with four kids to feed in the house.   Not that we had a very nice house – Daddy was always having to do some work on it when he wasn’t working at the mill.  Hmmm, what does that remind me of?  Oh, of course.   When I was married and living on Mill Stone Drive in MacGregor, things were a little different.  Our house there was just as cute as a bug’s ear.  Nora was our neighbor then and I think she and her daughter Jennifer are going to join us for dinner this year for Thanksgiving.  You are coming to visit us for Thanksgiving, aren’t you?”.  She pauses at this point to take a breath thankfully.

                “Yes, Mother.  I’ll be there for Thanksgiving as usual”.

                She resumed, “Now, you know we aren’t cooking a big meal because we just don’t need all that food.  Lord , if I don’t lose 20 lbs I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.  I don’t like it when my pants start fitting too tight.  Of course part of that might be because I just haven’t had a proper BM in the last couple of days.  I had to have your father give me an enema just to try and get everything moving again.”

                “Mother, I really don’t want to talk about your digestive system”, I manage to say without cracking up laughing.

                “Well, enemas were good enough for my momma to give to us kids when we were little, so it’s good enough for me now.  Of course my momma probably would have been just as inclined to give us a teaspoon of castor oil.  She wasn’t an educated woman, you know.  And she was just doing the best that she could.  Of course, I don’t have any real education either, but I turned out okay.  I’m not sure that all this education for women is such a good thing.  The Good Lord is pretty clear that women shouldn’t be in charge and in positions of power.  Just like that Sarah Palin.  Lord knows she’s an evil woman.”  She finally paused again to take a breath , and I took my opportunity to jump in and bring the conversation to a close.

                “Mother, I need to feed the cats and get out of these work clothes.  Did you need anything or were you just calling to chat”.

                “Oh, I just wanted to call and say hello.  You know your father worries about you when you don’t call often enough”, she responds.

                “I know”, I say.  “I promise to call more often, but I really need to get going now”.

                And mercifully then she said her goodbyes and hung up the phone.  Okay, do you see what I mean?  In the course of one conversation, she talked about my job, her job, her math skills, elementary school, her mom and dad, the 1930’s, the house she lived in as a child, the house she lived in when she first got married, her neighbors, Thanksgiving, needing to go on a diet, her bowel movements, enemas, education for women, politics and the evil that is Sarah Palin.  Kind of makes you tired, doesn’t it?

After many years of people trying to entice (or sometimes coerce) me into attending the Renaissance Festival in Plantersville, TX, I finally went yesterday.  Halloween seemed like a good time to go - - best opportunity to see the most freaks (and boy, was that true).  Now, I’ll explain later how I got talked into going, but first let’s talk about the festival itself.

It’s this Renaissance village, okay?  A really big village in which I was lost most of the time.   Kind of like a medieval craft show.  With lots of acts and different foods to eat.  And lots of people to gawk at.  I was there with two guys, so that really limited my ability to shop.  They were there to see specific shows, so heaven forbid, I didn’t want to slow them down.  First we saw the Birds of Prey show which was very cool.  The vulture and the buzzard were the best.  And as far as I know, no one got pooped on even though we had various birds flying over us at times (Mary, I would avoid this show if I were you).

Then we went to the jousting contest which I thought was rather lame.  It is obviously prescripted.  I’m sure they say “Okay – this time the guy in the purple tights gets to win”.  They had the Queen there (not the real one from England, silly) and her royal court, and they spoke a great deal into the sound speaker and said stuff that I was never able to understand.  And then the guys on horseback lunged at either other with their jousting spears (I’m not sure if that is the right term) and three guys eventually fell off their horses and finally the Queen’s Champion was named.  Or something like that.

In walking to the next show we were accosted by several vendors.  They were annoying, but the cool thing was everyone called me “My Lady”.  I could get into that.

The next show we attended was The Dead Bob show which I thought was pretty funny.  It’s a ventriloquist with this skeleton dummy.  But the ventriloquist’s face is covered up, so he’s probably moving his lips.  So maybe it’s really a puppet show.  No matter, the skeleton was full of rude comments and inappropriate remarks.  He told a really funny dirty joke (he asked permission first since there were children in attendance, but all the adults gave their consent since they had all obviously been drinking).  But I don’t think it would be appropriate to pass along the joke because this is a family blog, after all.  But be sure to ask me about it the next time you email me or talk to me.   Okay, I’ll at least give you the first line – “What do you call a blonde that is upside down”.  I am NOT giving you the answer though.  Not until the end of this blog.

And then the last show I watched was some juggling act that I thought was rather stupid. 

The guys went on to see another show, but I ditched them at that point to do a little shopping.  It’s too bad because it sounds like I would have enjoyed that show – it was some theatrical guy playing a piano-like instrument that had bells instead of strings.  I didn’t get any shopping done because the place is too damn big, and I couldn’t find the vendors I was looking for.  So instead, I stopped and got my palm read.  I’ve never done that before and have always been a bit leery about it.  So this old guy wearing a robe with a hood and lots of silver jewelry (he’s probably a stockbroker in real life) told me that I had good hands.  He said I was very practical which is true.  He said I never forgot anything (which is definitely not true since I couldn’t even remember to bring the Ren Fest ticket that I bought on Friday online with me to the actual festival).  He said that I like to set goals for myself which is true.  That I sometimes care too much what other people think about me (man, that’s definitely true).  And that I am generous and always willing to help out people (which is usually true).  No life changing information there, but still interesting.

The guys and I reconnected, and we all did a little shopping.  I found a very cool shop and bought a couple of very cool items, one of which I’m giving as a birthday present to someone soon.  Someone who reads this blog, so I can’t tell you want it is.  But it was very cool in a literary kind of way.

So now let me comment on the people there.  Or rather on the costumes some of the people were wearing.  The coolest thing I saw was an entire family dressed as skeletons.  They wore dressy antique-looking black clothing and then had their faces painted in white with skeleton features drawn with black paint.  They kept getting stopped so that people could take their pictures.  At that point I was wishing that I had brought along my digital camera.

There were a lot of swashbuckling pirate type guys, and for the most part they looked pretty cool with their hats with the long feathers.  And a lot of the women were wenches with bodices that had body parts struggling to emerge from the top of the bodice.  And that was okay too.  But there were definitely women there that needed to rethink their costumes and not show as many body parts as were shown.  A little less chain mail, please, and more white shirts with flowing sleeves perhaps.

There were other groups that were more into the whole barbarian look, but I didn’t really care to see so many women with tusks. 

And of course a very popular look was the whole vampire look.  Lots of that there.  I saw one guy with a tremendous painted-on wound on his neck that I thought was particular scary.  Of course it was even more scary when I realized he was not in costume and was instead sporting one hell of a hickey.

We finally left a little after dusk and got out of there with minimal traffic which according to the guys was a minor miracle. 

So, how did I come to be there in the first place?  Well, there’s this guy at work who I sort kinda have a crush on.  He’s an Aggie too.  And an engineer.  And pretty nerdy in a tremendously intelligent kind of way.  And we have struck up a friendship and usually have lunch together one day a week.  And he mentioned on Friday that he was going to the Ren Fest, and I then mentioned that I had never been.  So he asked if I wanted to go, and that was it.  Now, this guy does have a girlfriend that he talks about occasionally, but it sounds like a relationship that has almost run its course (she didn’t come with us on Saturday).  So I’m hanging around to see what happens.  Hopefully I won’t be the rebound girl.

So , I’ve wasted over 1400 words on this blog already when I should have been working on my novel.  Thanks to my friend Ayn Nys from the Women’s Writing Cooperative of Houston, I have decided to participate in the National Novel Writing Month (or Nanowrimo, for short).  It goes on during the month of November, and everyone who participates is trying to write at least 50,000 words (which would constitute a short novel).  Yes, that’s a lot of words.  And it’s a shame that I can’t use this blog in my novel.  Of course if the end of November approaches, and I’m off on my word count, I might reconsider and just start throwing all my blogs into the novel.  Except that would be cheating which I don’t want to do.  So far I am up to 3,332 words on my novel.  It’s a semi-autobiographical novel about a middle-aged single woman and her online dating adventures.  It’s called “Spicy, but Sweet” which is one of my profile tag lines on one of the Internet dating sites I use.  And yes, I do use real names.  And I’ve already talked about the time you stole Charles from me, Corina, you shameless vamp! J

Oh, I forgot to mention that I went on a ghost hunting tour Friday night with my friend Stacey’s husband Jeff.  We didn’t find any ghosts (at least none that made their presence known), but it was interesting to hear some of Houston’s history.  And I can’t wait to get back to the Spaghetti Warehouse because it smelled really yummy there.

A brunette with really bad breath

It’s just been one of those days.  You know those days where you don’t feel like doing anything productive?  Where you just want to be home taking a nap or reading a book or just being a couch potato in front of the TV?  That’s me today.

Yesterday I was tired because as usual I messed up my sleep pattern over the weekend.  I got off work early on Friday and went home and took a nap.  And then I also took a nap on Saturday.  And then Sunday morning I slept until 10:00 am.  So, of course, when I tried to get to sleep Sunday evening I just laid there and tossed and turned.  I finally got back up and turned on the light and planned out the details of a potential Christmas Tea at my house in December.  So it was probably after midnight before I finally got to sleep.

And then of course I slept through my alarm Monday morning and woke up at 7:30 am to my brother banging on my bedroom door.  The funny thing is that my orange cat Hagrid alerted my brother that there was something wrong downstairs.  He meowed incessantly and jumped on and off my brother’s bed until my brother got up and went downstairs to check things out.  I’ll have to start calling Hagrid “Lassie”. 

So I managed to get ready for work in 15 minutes (sponge bath – no makeup – glasses – hair up in a twist).  And then spent the rest of the day tired as I mentioned above.  Somehow I managed to talk myself into working out yesterday evening (I think it was guilt because I had not been to the gym in three weeks).  So I went and exercised on the EFX machine for 30 machines.  You know how all those health professionals tell you that to have more energy, you need to work out?  Even when you are too tired to work out?  Guess what?  They are right!!!  I had so much energy last night that I went food shopping for the writing retreat this weekend and then came home and got the food all organized in bags and then started working on my writing prompts for my writing exercise this weekend.  Unfortunately I had SO much energy that I couldn’t get to sleep.  So after tossing and turning again, I got up and started reading parts of Stephen King’s Danse Macabre which is what I’m using for my writing exercise this weekend.  This time it was almost 1:00 am before I got to sleep.  So guess what?  I’m tired again today.  Sigh….

I’ve been flirting all week with a sore throat, so I think I’ll just go home tonight (after my doctor’s appointment) and load up on Vitamin C and hit the sack.  I don’t want to come down sick right before the retreat.

I do want to share a great line from Stephen King’s book.  Danse Macabre was written by SK in the early 80’s, and it is his take on the horror genre from the years 1950-1980.  He addresses TV, radio and novels.  It’s one of my favorite SK books.  Anyway, in one part of the book he is talking about one of the archetypes of horror writing – the vampire.  He says that “according to popular legend, vampires are able to control lesser animals such as mice and rats (and possibly Republicans)”.  That line cracks me up every time. 

Things I have to be thankful for:

v  My best friend got great test results this week.

v  I got $20 in free gasoline yesterday.

v  I just ate chocolate cake – I’m always thankful for chocolate!

v  My staff gave me a plant and two nice cards for Boss’s Day.  And they are taking me to lunch!

v  My boss told me today that he wasn’t sure how he survived before I started working at WEST.

v  I’m going craft show shopping tomorrow with two of my favorite people.

v  I have a great job with a company that I like.  And I get to work with fun people. 

v  Bunko is this weekend.

v  I’m 5-0 in my fantasy football league.

v  My dad and step-mother are healthy and coming to visit soon.

v  My step-brother cleans the cat litter box for me.

v  The weather outside is cool and breezy.

v  I have a new red car!

v  Barack Obama is President (deal with it, people)

v  I live in the best state in the best country in the world.

v  I have two cats that snuggle with me every night.

v  I’m going ghost hunting in a couple of weeks.

v  It’s only the second month of football season.

v  Christmas is a little over two months away.

There was definitely no labor going on in my house over the weekend as I was a complete slug.  Well, I did have a date and I did do laundry, but other than that I wasted a lot of time on the Internet.  I had finally saved up enough coins on Farm Town to purchase a farm house (300,000 coins!!), so I had to rearrange everything to make room for the house and the picket fence.  I bought one dog house too, although I think I have about 8-9 dogs on the farm.  After that I played a lot of Farkle, and then I found a complex solitaire game on Facebook that kept me occupied for several hours Sunday night/Monday morning.

So let’s catch up on the dating situation, shall we?  As you recall I met a guy on BBWPersonals a few weeks ago that turned out to be a big fat liar.  But I persevered and have maintained my profile on that site.  So after I found out about the big fat liar, I sent a smile to a cute guy that lives in Magnolia, and he and I had been emailing back and forth on the site.  He finally sent me his cell phone number last week, and I was all excited about talking to him.  Except that when we had our first conversation, he seemed a little odd.  Like maybe he had a speech impediment or something.  Well, that’s no big deal.  But then he seemed forgetful too – like we would discuss something one minute and two minutes later he would have already forgotten our discussion.  So this seemed a little strange to me.  During our second conversation he disclosed that he had a condition that he had been born with and that this condition did affect his voice and made him forgetful.  Okay, that seemed reasonable to me, but not to my brother who thought this guy was hiding something.  So I got the guy to tell me the name of the condition, and then I did my research on WebMD.  Wow – was my brother right!!  It turns out the condition is really a severe side effect from older antipsychotic drugs that were used to treat schizophrenia.  So now I’m certainly a little leery about continuing this conversation with this guy, and my brother is fairly adamant that I not continue the conversation.  I’m torn – I hate to judge someone who has been able to deal successfully with a major problem in his life, but at the same time I’m not sure I’m up to adding this complex situation into my life.  So that one is on the back burner right now.

In the meantime I chatted with another guy from the site a couple of hours Thursday night, and we made a date for Saturday night.  This guy is a football coach at Houston Reagan, and by all means seemed very normal.  The date actually went very well, and we had tentative plans to meet up again on Monday.  At this point however I started acting like I was from Venus which offended his Martian sensibilities.  He specifically told me that he had not had company over to his place in a while, and that it was pretty junky.  So being a woman and all, I just suggested to him that he clean it up before I came over on Monday.  At that point he stopped responding to my emails or my phone calls.  My brother translated for me and said that the guy was really wanting me to tell him that it was okay that he lived in a pig sty and that it was more important for me to get to know him as a person than to be concerned with the amount of dirt and untidiness in his place. Okay, whatever.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a guy who is on a dating site looking for women to try and clean his place up a bit.  I certainly hope he wasn’t expecting that I was going to come over and clean it up for him (because I’ve done that once before against my better judgment).   So that guy is off of the radar now, so I’m pretty much back to square one.

I hope everyone makes it through this week okay – the cool thing about having a Monday holiday is that it is immediately followed by a 4 day week!

I think I turned my brain off this weekend, and I’m desperately searching for the button to turn it on this morning.  I did have a brief flicker of activity when I was driving in when I remembered that I was supposed to get a money order for work this weekend (which I did not do).  Plus I was supposed to get a new book of checks to put in my purse (because I need to write someone at work a check), and I forgot to do that too.  So I stopped by Kroger at 7:45 to get two money orders, and of course that section wasn’t open.  So I went ahead and drove to Brookshire and stopped by the post office down the street from my job, and of course (since it’s Brookshire), the post office window doesn’t open until 9:00 a.m.   So I’ll be running back out in 30 minutes to get two postal money orders.  It seems like the older I get, the more my brain seems to go on the fritz.  I keep looking in the mirror closely every day to make sure I don’t have blonde hair coming in.

So here’s my review of “Inglourious Basterds”:  bizarre.  Well, it was a typical Quentin Tarintino movie, so from that perspective it was completely normal.  There were some very funny parts in it, most of which came courtesy of Brad Pitt.  And then there were a whole lot of graphic scenes courtesy of the NRA, I suppose.  Mike Myers had a bit part which was totally strange because it wasn’t a funny part.  Thanks to Rex for a very nice evening – I promise not to tell anyone that you are a sweet guy.

I did see some interesting previews for upcoming movies.  The one I remember the most was for a movie called “Wolfman” (I think) that looks like it will be extremely cool.  The only strange part is that it is being released on February 12.  Ummm, just in time for Valentine’s Day???  It seems like a Halloween release would make more sense, but okay, I’ll go with it.  I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day anyways.

I must have had a bad dream after the movie Saturday night because I fell out of bed.  I haven’t fallen out of bed in a very long time, and that was a completely different situation which really isn’t appropriate to describe in my PG-rated blog. 

I had my fantasy football draft yesterday afternoon and was extremely surprised that I had drawn the top spot.  That meant I got to draft first, so I took Adrian Peterson, the running back with the Minnesota Vikings.  My other main running back is Marion Barber with the Dallas Cowboys.  And my quarterback is Phillip Rivers with the San Diego Chargers.  My back-up quarterback is Matt Schaub with the Texans – I had to have at least one Texan on my team.  The Texans play the Vikings tonight in preseason, so I’ll have to check it out and see how well Adrian does.

It’s time for me to head back to the Brookshire post office, so I gotta run.

It’s 2:40 p.m. on Thursday afternoon, and I have just about had enough of my job today.  Not that it’s been a bad day or anything.  I’m just tired of being here.  I’m tired of doing account reconcilations and all the little clean-up jobs that one gets to do in accounting.  I want to do something exciting, something that will capture my mind from the time I get here until it’s time to leave at 5:30.  But that, alas, is not the world of accounting.  So I’m sitting here counting down the time until I can leave.  Only 2 hours and 40 minutes to go.  So I’ll work on my blog while I’m counting.

We had a brown bag luncheon today at work and got to listen to our local credit union and their car-buying service.  I am in the market for a new car because the lease on my Murano expires at the end of the year.  I didn’t really learn anything new at this luncheon except that it might be to my benefit to use one of the approved dealerships with which the credit union does business.  That and the fact that the credit union is offering some pretty decent rates on car loans.  I’ve been all over the board trying to decide what kind of car to buy.  Last summer when gas was $4 a gallon, I was definitely going to go small or maybe with a hybrid.  But now that I’m driving on I10 every day with a multitude of 18-wheelers, I’m not inclined to go small.  So that throws the Mini Cooper out of the window.  Nissan is pushing hard for me to purchase or lease another Nissan, but there’s not really another Nissan that captures my heart (not that the Murano did that, actually).  I’ve test-driven the Exterra before, but it doesn’t excite me too much.  The Altima Coupe could be a possibility but I really need to see one up close. 

I definitely don’t want just a plain sedan, but I also don’t want to throw all gas mileage out the window by going with a large SUV.  So where does that put me?  I have no idea.  I guess currently on my radar is the Ford Escape – I’ve always like Ford, and I did like the Explorer Sport I owned once.  I would definitely buy that model again, but they don’t make it anymore. L   The Escape has decent gas mileage and yet is still a pretty good size.

I guess I need to investigate other small SUV’s, although I already know I don’t care for the Honda CR-V or the Toyota RAV-4.  I’m just so indecisive – definitely one of my character flaws.

Hey, it’s 3:10.  I’ve already wasted 30 minutes!  Well, I did stop and do a little work.

The Mega-Million lottery is up to $340 million (or something close).  Cash value on that would be $204 million.  That is just a ridiculous sum of money.  Really, what would you do with that much cash?  I’ll probably buy a ticket, but I really would rather win a smaller sum of money.  Like a couple of million.  That would still allow me to quit my job and pursue my own goals, yet still be a fairly regular person.

Some of my co-workers are going to get a psychic reading next week and asked me if I wanted to join them.  No way, Jose.  The last thing I need to know is that there are dark forces in my life or that there is major trial and tribulation in my future.  Oh, I know those supposed psychics are only supposed to give positive readings, but I’m just afraid the psychic would take one look at me and get a look of fear on her face.  I have no idea why I think this way, maybe because I’m a pessimist.

I’m going to see “Inglourious Basterds” this weekend (and yes, it is spelled that way).  A new friend of mine has very graciously offered me an evening of fun and entertainment, although I’m not supposed to spread the word about how sweet he is being because it might ruin his reputation.  Whatever.  Mary and I actually met this guy at speed dating earlier this year, and he and Mary became friends.  And now I guess he’s becoming my friend too which is great because more friends are always good.  Especially ones that don’t lie to you and tell you that they are wealthy and single and wanting to sweep you off to their cabin in the hills of Tennessee.    So I’ll report next week on the movie and the food at Alamo Draft House and how much I enjoyed my evening of fun and entertainment.

Also, Sunday is my fantasy football draft, and I have not done one lick of research.  So I better work on that tonight.  Any tips would be appreciated. 

Look, it’s 3:25 pm, and I have wasted a considerable amount of time.  Still 2 hours left, but I guess I’ll survive.

Today’s a good day to be thankful that you have a job and that you work in an air-conditioned building, don’t you think?  I had to walk over to our main building only twice today (and it’s probably not more than 10 yards away), but the weather is just ridiculous.  I gave up on any attempt to wear my hair down today and have slapped it back into a pony tail.  I’m excited and all that the month of September is so close, but then I have to ask myself why I’m so excited when I know darn well it won’t be getting cool until at least the first part of November.  Sigh… life in Texas.  I really need to move to Maine.  Wonder if I could become Stephen King’s neighbor…

I just overheard our HR department talking about a new law that goes into effect on September 1 that criminalizes online harassment.  It carries a maximum fine of $10,000 and a possible third-degree felony charge.  Darn, I guess I’ll have to get all my harassing done by the end of the month.  And believe me, I have a few people I wouldn’t mind making miserable for at least a little while.  But since I believe in karma and all, I’ll probably behave myself.

I experienced one of my all-time favorite pet peeves this past weekend when this girl was checking out in front of me at Hobby Lobby.  This chick watched all of her items being rung up and made sure they were placed carefully in her reusable environmental sack and only then did she reach into her purse and pull out her checkbook.  And write a check.  If you insist on not living in the 21^st century and still like to write checks, at least have the decency to pull out your checkbook, write in the date and the payee and sign your name while the cashier is ringing up your stuff!!  And this girl was only in her 20’s!  Such old-fashioned behavior from one so young…

I’ve added a new word to my vocabulary recently – groovy.  I watched a documentary on Woodstock last weekend and it was, well, groovy. 

Today’s trivia:  Who was the first artist to play at Woodstock?  And who was the last artist?

I know I talked last week about getting a dog since I felt guilty about killing that poor dove.  I’m pretty much over that idea.  However, I am considering a kitten.  And this would be an infamous kitten (sort of).  You know the Katy ISD police officer that kidnapped his ex-girlfriend last week and kept her captive for something like 48 hours and then finally let her go only to kill himself (and all that took place in Brookshire just a mile away from work, so we were all abuzz last week with the police and with the media)?  It turns out this guy was the roommate of the brother of a WEST Engineering employee.  And he left two adult cats and four kittens.  So the WEST employee is trying to find homes for all six cats.  I’m still waiting to see pictures at which point I’ll probably succumb.  I’ve broached the idea with Neville and Hagrid of having a little sister, but they don’t seem too excited.

Trivia answer:  First – Richie Haven (and up until that documentary, I had never even heard of him).  Last- Jimi Hendrix

Remember last week’s story about the classic car restorer in Dallas who was trying to sweep me off of my feet?  Well, there is another chapter (but this is definitely the final chapter).  He contacted me last Thursday and was very apologetic about coming on too strong.  And because I am extremely gullible, I agreed to continue speaking with him and said I was open to him visiting me the last weekend in August.   So everything was groovy Thursday and Friday, and we spoke several times.  But then on Saturday I started a due diligence project.  I asked him for the name of his company, and he said it was Texas Muscle Cars.  I asked him if the company was located in Carrollton, and he said no, it was Dallas.  I asked him for the web address, and he said he didn’t have a website.  That was the first warning flag – what company today doesn’t have a website?

So I got online and searched extensively and could not find Texas Muscle Cars in Dallas.  So I sent Gary a text to that effect, but he did not respond.  Later on in the afternoon I searched again for Texas Muscle Cars and this time found the company and a website in Princeton, TX which is just outside of Dallas to the north.  I read the “About Us” section of this website, and the owner as described there definitely did not sound like Gary.  So I texted Gary again, basically told him that I thought he was lying and explained how I had found Texas Muscle Cars in Princeton.  And guess what?  I have not heard back from him at all.  Man, am I stupid.  I should have done this research the second the words came out of his mouth.  So needless to say, this little fairy tale is over.  And going forward, I’m going to be extremely skeptical of any information I am given through a dating website.  Why can’t people be honest?

Friday night was the monthly writing group, and it was hosted by Anne who did a marvelous job.  I really liked the first exercise where we all had to write down one word on a piece of paper.  After we had written 3-4 words, we had to write a story incorporating all the words.  One of my words was Dracula – I thought that would make it interesting.  

Sunday was bunko hosted by Mary, and it was a back to school theme.  Everything was very cute, and the prizes were office/school supplies which was an extremely clever idea.  And yes, I did win a prize as I threw the most bunkos yesterday (only two, but it was a slow afternoon).  Thanks, Mary!   I wish I had been able to partake of more of the snacks that Mary provided, but I was recovering from a Saturday middle-of-the-night battle with food poisoning or a stomach virus.  Not fun.

I just don’t understand men.  And maybe that’s a good thing.  I like to think that I’m a little bit saner than most of the men I meet.

Let me tell you the story of my week.  Last weekend I succumbed to yet another dating site and set up a profile.  On Sunday I was looking around the site and was contacted by this guy named Gary who wanted to chat.  I started chatting with him, and he was immediately over the top with how much he liked my picture and he couldn’t wait to meet me.  I gave him my phone number and told him that he could call me that night.

So we talked that night and had a nice conversation.  I found out that he restores classic cars and does quite well for himself.  He has his own business in Carrolton, TX (near Dallas) plus he has a home in the mountains in Tennessee.  I could see right away that he was going to try and impress me with his money, so I told him straight up that I wasn’t impressed with money and that I couldn’t be purchased.  He just ignored me and insisted that he wanted to meet me the next weekend.  I already had plans for the next Saturday, but I rescheduled those plans so that I could hang out with Gary on Saturday at Old Town Spring.

On Monday he asked me what kind of car I drove, and I told him.  He told me that he had just restored a 1959 red convertible Thunderbird that he wanted me to have.  Excuse me?  I told him that I certainly could not accept a car from him.  We carried on that argument all week.  On Wednesday he finally suggested that it would be an appropriate wedding gift.  Excuse me again?  Here he had known me for all of four days, and he was already talking about being engaged by the end of the year.  And we had not even met each other yet!!!  He just kept telling me that he had a “feeling” about me – that he knew the two of us would be perfect for each other. 

Wednesday evening we were texting, and he made some comment about how I belonged to him.  So I texted back and told him that no, I didn’t.  And that I would never be the possession of any man.  Shortly thereafter he told me he was going to bed.   He didn’t text or call like he normally does first thing in the morning, so about mid-morning I texted him to say hello.  He responded to me that he was sad.  I asked him why he was sad.  He said he didn’t think that I was as into him as he was into me.  You think?  Here I had been telling him all week that he was coming on too strong, that I was a slow mover, etc.  I decided it was time to cut my losses.  So I texted him back, confirmed for him that I was not into him like he was into me, and then said some other stuff about his intensity and my cautiousness and so forth.  I ended with the suggestion that we end things right now and just say goodbye.  And, of course, he hasn’t texted me back.

So, that’s it.  That’s actually the second wealthy man who has contacted me, and both of them have turned out to be the biggest flakes.  I guess that reinforces my belief that money is not everything and that it is definitely not the key to a successful relationship.

I guess it’s back to the dating site for me.  I’ve been neglecting it all week since I had been focused on Gary.  Hopefully there’s a normal guy out there for me somewhere.